Thursday, September 18, 2008

Larvatious Indeed

Drive boy dog boy
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And tears boy
And all in your inner space boy
He had hand girls boy
And steel boy
He had chemicals boy
I've grown so close to you boy
And you just groan boy
She said come over come over
She smiled at you boy

Some tracks for tonight... love the new mix of Born Slippy by Underworld (Joe K vs Beto Dias Remix) which has a sour candy electro feel. Of course... I have to sing-a-long... Naman... As besty calls it... Larvatious!

Underworld - Born Slippy 2008 (Joe K vs Beto Dias Remix)

D'Azoo at Night - Tango in Tokyo (Extended Mix)

King Amir - The Whistle (Extended Mix)

Rune RK - Put Your Hands Up for Copenhagen (Trentemoller Remix)

Afrojack The Partysquad - Drop Down Do My Dance

Benny Royal & Ludaphunk - Dance Electric (Original Mix)

Lykke Li - Dance, Dance, Dance (Dada Life Guerilla Fart #4)

Blake Jarrell - The Drugs (Rene Amesz Remix)

TV Rock - Been A Long Time (Axwell Remode)

Sander van Doorn - Apple (Bart B More Remix)


When you pull a book off a shelf, crack open its spine, and begin to flip through the pages, you expect the story to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Only sometimes, the final chapter is missing and you don’t know how the damn thing ends.

Unresolved relationships, open-ended events, issues long forgotten can be like those missing pages, and I am someone who needs to know what happens.

I need some closure on some stories that happened from the past.

Instead of wallowing in doubt (Was it me? What did I do?), I whip up a satisfactory denouement to tie up any loose ends.

It’s a cop-out to think of yourself as the hero, and the other party as the villain. There is no good and bad. Everyone is equally complicated. There are no extenuating circumstances (although they help with melodramas), and the basic story is kept simple.

Hopefully, it all ends well, even if there are no happy endings. I hope to close some chapters in my book. Maybe not everything. But I have to start.

Sometimes closure must be created on the page, read and accepted to help shut the book close, and placed back on the shelf.

It Pays To Be Evil Sometimes

Nice people have a difficult reputation to live up to because they are never allowed to be anything other than pleasant. If they have one bad day, it's all changed. Sometimes, being too nice will get you into more trouble.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth being nice all the time. When I’m nice, things are great for everyone involved:

I write them a note or send them SMS when they’re not feeling well. I call them so they know they’re being thought about. I try to put a smile on their faces. I make them feel like they’re cared for and someone is thinking about them.

That’s what I do when I care about someone.

But then, sometimes, it seems that my efforts are not that appreciated. When I try to be selfish aka spend some time for myself, I look overly apathetic. When it's my time to share my own stories and issues, it is as if I'm dismissed.

That is why these days, I try to become that apathetic person and be that walking bastard,at least when you’re an asshole, no one has high expectations. And, I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.

Why should I bother to care when it’s so much easier being evil?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Poker Love

The cards have been dealt and the other player has placed their bet. You’ve placed your own. Two sets of poker faces are staring at each other. It’s time to show your hand, but you don’t. First, you take stock of possible outcomes.

Since bluffing isn't allowed in this game, you have two options: fold them, or hold them. If you quit, you may not have anything to gain. If you don't quit, you may not have anything to lose.

Sometimes your hand isn’t the greatest, but it’s just enough to take the prize. Other times, you’re not so lucky.

The fingers on your hand begin to quiver and small beads of sweat form around your hairline. The stress is showing. You know what you can offer and you want to show your hand.

But you don’t, fearing that it’s not enough to win. You admit defeat.

Your ace of hearts is protected, and don’t show it to the other player.

In the end, you don’t want to lose. But, sometimes you have to.