Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Job Opening

Job Category: Relationship
Type: Full time, plus overtime
Salary: Negotiable
Last day to apply: End of this year
Compensation: Me

Responsibilities will include, but are not limited to:

Saying and doing the right things to properly convey your undying adoration, admiration, and lust for me.
Arguing when necessary, but ultimately realizing the error of your ways
Footrubs, backrubs, assrubs on request
Researching and evaluating what is really meant when hearing the words, "I'm fine."
Maintaining daily communication via telephone, email, text messages, and telepathic senses
Coordinating dinner dates, movie nights, surprise parties, and other special events

All candidates must have the following qualifications,

A J.O.B. (Doctors, lawyers, pro athletes, high level managers, music industry execs, & Hollywood producers)
5'4 to 5'6; 110-130lbs
College Degree (advanced degree preferred); a shit load of money is good enough if no degree has been earned.
Solo residential accomodations
No criminal records
No kids
No pending kids
Never married
No restraining orders
Ocassional drinker (non drinking is cool too)
Helluva sex appeal
Possess all teeth in some semblance of order

APPLY NOW!

1 comment:

M said...

Can i apply?! :)