Thursday, June 22, 2006

Orange Skies and Sunsets

In my last two posts, I was depressed and mad. Can both things happen in the same time? I guess, in my case, it can. No, this is not a hate-blog for my boss, friend(s) or some blog lurker. I’m not having any quarter-life crisis because I’m done with that. I’m actually pissed off with my “family.” Yes, it’s quote-family-unquote. For years I felt so much burden, depression, and even shame. This just showed me that the world is not perfect. It’s not even round. It’s half-assed flat!

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a hate-blog for my dad. Now, well, I won’t write any hate blog for my mom. Not worth blogging. Around 3pm yesterday, I found out something. My mom ain’t no desperate housewife after all. I found dusts beneath the rug.

I’m not giving both of them the benefit of the doubt. They need not to explain it to me because the evidence is clear. I have not seen the bitch but I saw the bastard yesterday (saw his pictures, thanks to my email hacking powers).

On my way home yesterday, I was so mad and depressed and was so pissed off. The bus ride helped me plot my escape. I don’t want to be part of this pseudo family anymore. Too much lies and deceit.

You might think that my problems are typical. Well, I have to disagree. Unless you experienced it, you cannot lecture me on how important my family is and that I should give them a break. I’ll give them the break they deserve – I’ll pack my bags and go. A year from now, I’ll be long gone without a trace. That’s the plan and I intend to do it.

My life, my story, my own soap opera (less the stop-motion acting). The backstabbing, the lying, the climactic revelations, the deceit. All the elements of an award winning soap.

In the first season, the good son cried (a lot) and was thinking of taking his own life (but was too afraid to do so).

Well, for now, I’m trying to put on a happy face (which is so hard to do). This is part of the soap opera where I play the good-son-turned-black-sheep.

For now, I’m still not sure what the season finale will be. It’ll be a bittersweet surprise.

Orange Skies and Sunsets
Season 1 Original Soundtrack

01 Nelly Furtado - What I Wanted MP3
02 Snow Patrol - Hands Open MP3
03 Teddy Geiger - These Walls MP3
04 Plumb - Cut MP3
05 James Blunt - Tears And Rain MP3
06 Imogen Heap - Headlock MP3
07 Up Dharma Down - Sleeptalk MP3
08 Jewel - 100 Miles Away MP3
09 Azure Ray - Displaced MP3
10 Paul Oakenfold - Faster Kill Pussycat MP3
11 Tegan and Sara - Where Does the Good Go MP3
12 Gavin DeGraw - Jealous Guy MP3
13 Sandwich - Goodnight January MP3
14 Radio - Whatever Gets You Through Today MP3
15 Bonnie Somerville - Winding Road MP3
16 Mozella - Light Years Away MP3
17 Michelle Featherstone - Coffee & Cigarettes MP3
18 Rosie Thomas - Farewell MP3


lovelyladynextdoor said...

I agree. Parents can be so messed up sometimes. But don't walk down that path to self-ruin just because of them. We are dealt with unfair cards and we just need to make the most of what we're given. My parents are FAR from perfect. Very very very FAR. I shall not curse here.

C Saw said...

I enjoyed your download links so much I didn't really got to read ur entries until now. You got something heavy here.

I got a pair of human parents as well. I did entertain violent thought on them and said my i-hate-you's indirectly when they were in the process of splitting up.

In the end, they still are my family. Umm...I don't know if that's a good or bad ending.

lucerodelara said...

yeah, we all have our own soap operatic lives...

Jigs said...

I've tried what you're saying. Leaving without saying a word. I only lasted a week. my mom found me, lol! But she understood why I did it and let me stay with my lola so that we can cool off our heads a bit. All I'm saying is that they're still your parents. All the tribulations right now are trials for your family. I know it seems stupid and doesn't mean much to you, but I hope you think twice or even ten times before you do what you plan to do. :)

gari said...


Yes! Do pack your bags...and leave without a trace. I've done that for two years and it brings good thing in my life. You deserve a break and not them. :-D