Thursday, December 21, 2006

Things I Got From This Job

1. Windows XP
2. A corner space in the cube (FACE THE WALL!)
3. The ability to pretend that I cannot hear the managers yelling "shit," "bullshit" and even "fuck" while I'm writing the minutes.
4. Post-its
5. Cheap coffee every morning
6. Bidet
7. Endless supplies of paper clips
8. Some of my peers who does not like me at all.
10. An avergae salary
11. Fast internet connection
12. Nightmares

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Oy oy oy oy oy

I will admit that it takes me a bit of time to be comfortable around people. I have to figure them out, decide what I can and cannot say around them, if they like me and what I can get away with. Then I become loud, talkative, a bit ridiculously in love with my own witticisms, and generally run around like a banshee making random statements that I expect others to be interested in.

So next time, be ready for me April :D

darn it

“It is better to be feared than loved” - Niccolo Machiavelli

(fuck)

We should step back and reconsider.

If we loved (okay, "love" is freaky, let's just say "like" instead) our bosses, we would rationally confess our wrongdoings, apologize and try to offer ways the situation could be fixed or at least improved.

If we feared our bosses we would promptly turn our cubicles into a fortress of secrecy on high-alert, engage in a massive cover-up operation. Then we would prepare to maintain a straight face during the department wide finger-pointing extravaganza.

(fuck)

The problem is that until today, majority of the managers go on powertripping like they are on crack or speed or something.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Weird

I did not took the job offered to me last Wednesday. That means i have to stay at Intel. But why am I having such a great day?

Someone told me that I was stubborn. Yes. I am stubborn. Stubborn to realize that I'm making right decisions. Thank you for being honest with me, even if i have to force you to tell me something negative about myself.

See you guys next week!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sunday

One Chicken = Manok
Lots of Chicken = Menok

Hahahahaha

Friday, November 03, 2006

Hit Me

Men are responsible for eight out of every 10 cases of violence against women in the Philippines (Lee 2004) and are largely responsible for violence inflicted on children and men. A recent survey indicated 47.2 percent of Filipino women had, in their lifetimes, experienced psychological abuse or physical violence from their intimate partners (Serquina-Ramiro, Madrid, & Amarillo 2004). Twenty-nine percent of women in the survey had experienced violence/abuse inflicted by their current partner in the past year, and of those cases, 31 percent and 68 percent experienced physical and psychological abuse respectively. Existing data indicates that violence against women is a pervasive social problem, with enormous direct and indirect costs to Philippine communities and society (Mallorca-Bernabe 2005). The Philippine Government spends an estimated 6 billion pesos on medical and psychological interventions for violence against women. Government and non-government interventions to reduce DV (domestic violence) have included: advocacy, education and information dissemination; counselling; gender sensitivity training; family dialogues; and shelter, legal, police and medical assistance (Lee 2004).

- Nula Dee, "Gender, Filipino men, and domestic violence"

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Syet

putanginayokonasumasakitnaulokogustokonasumukoayokonapumasokperowalakongmagawakasiwalapakongbagongtrabahoperokontinalangmagreresignalangakobahalana

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Jolly Good Fellows

For He's A Jolly Good Fellow: To my supervisor, Rhaleigh. HE will be leaving our company, and will be living abroad, in Australia. Good luck boss!
For He's A Jolly Good Fellow: To Jowell, good luck sir. We will miss your horse playing at the office.
For She's A Jolly Good Fellow: To KJ, I really don't know you that well, but hey, good luck!
Which Nobody Can't Deny.

3 people will be leaving our group. And no one will replace them. I mean, their job will be given to another person. Sooner or later, that other person will leave.

So how will you guys deal with these lost? Yes, our company will survive without them. But there's a problem that you're not solving. Sooner or later, more people will leave our group. Sooner or later, everyone will be burnt out. We already lost 8 people just this year. And i promise you this, a couple more will leave before the year ends. I'm sad that this is happening in our company. Our company that I once loved. A teambuilding activity will not solve this problem. People will say that this is just reality, that an employee resigns. The question is how do you keep them. How do you make them happy as much as you can?

Friday, October 27, 2006

Monday, October 23, 2006

Happy Pill

[SMS Exchanges, not exactly what was written.]

D: Hey! What are you doing tonight?
B: Doing the AVP. Won’t go to Cavite tomorrow. I might watch this indie movie tonight

D: I love indie films. Do you have extra tickets?
B: My friend said that I can bring my friends.

D: I’ll text you later if I can go. What time does the movie start?
B: Starts at 8pm. I’ll get the tickets by 730.
After 2 hours

D: Hey. I decided to go. I mean, is it okay? I think I’m inviting myself in this movie gimmick.
B: No it’s okay. See you around 730

Okay. So I decided to meet B. Unplanned. Main objective is just to watch that indie film. Group hang. Gimmick with friends. Not a date. Just movie and late night coffee.

I met B at the mall at 8pm. People are lining up already. B asked me if I still want to watch the indie film. I said we should just watch another film. Departed will start at 930pm. So that’s 1.5 hrs before the movie starts. I asked if we can have dinner. Well, B already had dinner. Anyway, we decided to go to Teriyaki Boy. I ordered tofu and bacon-wrapped asparugus while B ordered some Maki. Both of us were quiet. Really freakishly quiet. After a while, we begun talking, and talking. We left Teriyaki Boy around 930pm, decided to skip the movie and just get some coffee at SBC.

B bought us frappe (double choco mint!!!!). I asked if we can hang-out outside because I have to smoke (B does not smoke so I was a bit shy when I asked if we can just sit outside). We began talking, staring at each other, having a very nice time. At one point, B discovered my imperfections that no one ever noticed. My bowling-pins-like fingers and my lisp abnormality. The whole time, B kept on impersonating my lisp. I was not offended at all, it was actually funny. We talked about work, about college, about my fingers, etc.

B started to massage my hands. I was a bit hesitant because my hands were getting sweaty (sorry, pasmado… or was it tensyonado?). We talked some more. I was puffing smoke, B was burning the plant leaves. Talk. Stare. Talk. Stare. I was staring at B's eyes, B was staring.... at my neck. Hahaha... "Nice neck," said B. Then B pulled my dog tag. I thought... thought that B will pull me really close to kiss me. No... B was just playing with my dog tag, like it was a dog leash.

After a while, I took B’s hand and played thumb-wrestling. I lost! Darn it! My hands were too relaxed after the hand massage. Cheat! I demand for a rematch!

I never let go of B’s hand, massaged it, held it, took it and rested on it. Then, I dunno what came to me, I kissed B’s hand. It was an MTV-like moment (or a Videoke background movie skit).

It was almost 1am when we decided to head home. B lives in Mandaluyong, I live in Cavite. I got home around 2am. B was still awake when i sent an SMS.

D: Thank you B. I dunno what I felt. It was nice. Really nice.
B: Thank you D. Yeah, I dunno what we have back there. It felt good. It felt right.

B, you’re my happy pill! Thank you!

Let down your guard just a little
I keep you safe in these arms of mine
Hold on to me - pretty baby
You will see I can be all you need

John Legend – Save Room MP3
or go to MrDJ's Multiply (Music> Faves)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Break

Prison Break Escape from prison (based on the TV show).

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Call for Help

Chris Pirillo

Chris Pirillo

Chris Pirillo

Just testing....

I'll run another test

Candyman

Candyman

Candyman

And another one

Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice

Okay, another...

Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary

And finally...

There's No Place Like Home

There's No Place Like Home

There's No Place Like Home

Let's just wait and see...

Monday, October 16, 2006

P.I.M.P.


MrDJ is a PIMP. Hahaha!

I was at the mall last Saturday. Too many "Jumping Jollogs" at the mall. 3-day sale.

Bought a pair of nice gray striped slacks, black semi-formal leather shoes, black long-sleeved polo, and dark aviators. Nice... I decided to have a week long "yuppie" get-up at the office. Most of the people here at the office waer plain shirts and jeans. Wearing a "yuppie" get-up might help me feel more professional (and more mature) than others.

Another form of therapy on my part.

I was looking at my college yearbook last night. I borrowed a quote from Dr. Seuss... I guess this quote best explains whatever's written in this blog. So...

IF YOU ARE READING THIS... This is MY blog. Get your own. It's free.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Positive

I know that I’ve been blogging a lot about my work and how do not not hate it. About my colleagues, about my tasks, about management changes. I’ve been dragging this negativity for the past year or so. The only good thing about ranting about work is that I don’t need to get fired up at the office and start to become unprofessional. I blog, I rant, I publish my posts, and I move on until the next office drama.

For a change, I’ll write about 2 positive things that my employer gave me...

Career Development. I already lead teams (locally and globally) that made positive changes in our business process and saved millions of capital based from our productivity projects. I learned how to adapt to different cultures. I learned that to be able to get what you want, you must communicate effectively. My career went through rough cycles but as I look at myself right now, I can proudly say that I’m successful with what I do.

Business Travels. Trip in Arizona last 2005 for a business meeting face-to-face and some benchmarking projects with the fabrication factory. After a year, I went back to the US, this time in San Diego for a business conference. Those trips were very memorable and helped me in my career. I know I earn those business travels. It’s how you can position yourself to get those business travels abroad.

I will be forever thankful for these things. This helped me boost my resume. Harhar! I still plan to move out but I’m not sure when to be exact. What will make me stay? If they move me to marketing.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

So while waiting for a new job to come, I think I need to make some positive changes as well. I’ll TRY to stop blogging about work and about my colleagues. I’ll let them rest in peace. I know that by now, all of them have been reading my blog. ALL OF THEM. That includes the managers. Am I worried? A little. But let’s go back to the concept of a blog. It’s an online journal, your personal online journal that you want to share to anyone out there. Looking for a feedback from an outsider. A blog can also be a group site, a download site, a pic blog. Type BLOG in Google and you’ll have a million hits. So, leave my blog alone if you’re not prepared to read my personal thoughts. I tell you, they are harsh because it’s true and it’s real.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

I need to buy new sets of clothes. I know that the clothes doesn’t make a person but you know what, I feel really good and empowered when I wear long sleeved shirts, slacks (or khakis) and leather shoes (don’t wear brown leather with black/gray pants… please). I’ve been doing my “power dressing” every time I have to present my analysis. I guess I just need to suit up more often. So Van, you’ll see me combing my hair more often. Harhar!

Lastly, I’ll increase my professional maturity 2 notches up. Silent treatment for a couple of people. I am not obliged to befriend all of my officemates. I don’t even need to like them. I just need to work with them so as long as they can provide me with what I need (vice versa), we’re okay.

So less office drama in this blog. More personal stuff which I think is better than work related posts. More MP3s!!! Yay!

This is my blog. My free space. If you do not like reading my posts then click the button in the upper right side of the screen which says “NEXT BLOG” or you can just close your web browser. Or better yet, get yourself your own blog and write about how you hate me. For all I care. Seriously.

Positive. Positive. Positive.


...maybe until next week...

Friday, October 13, 2006

Last Night... I Dyed


I dyed my hair back to black. The hair dye carton box said that it will make my hair look dark brown but my hair turned out black. BLACK!

I was unable to write anything yesterday. I was really busy (and bitchy) this week due to the pseudo merge of 2 factories in our company. My work will not change (I’ll give it 1 month, there might be another change). Actually, 2 weeks from now, I’ll have 1 additional role as the New Product IE for Intel Core 2 Duo Mobile (Extreme?). But I will still be handling this temp role as resource requirement planning IE analyst.

Speaking of temp and new roles, no updates yet from K and P. I already emailed P and asked for updates after I passed their exam a month ago. As for K, I called their HR and they told me that the shortlist will be released this week. Note to self: Call K and P by Friday or Monday. Now… temp jobs? I was also looking for temp jobs just in case I fuck my brains out here at work. I asked my uncle if they have job openings at D and he told me to visit their website. So much for networking. He also mentioned that by January, M will have an office in Makati. Maybe I’ll apply there as well.

It’s been a year since we were looking for new jobs. I told T yesterday that she should consider the following:

(1) Get paid by being a surrogate.
(2) Apply for a maternity leave. While on leave, look for a new job.
(3) After the leave expires, apply for a terminal leave.
(4) During terminal leave, look for a job.
(5) If job search fails, go back to step 1.

T, you should consider this.

I’m looking forward on Saturday. I’ll be half-finishing my room design in the morning, house warming lunch party at noon, possible date in the evening (date or group hang or whatever).

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Guess That Song Uno

I love this song. Been playing in my head the whole day....

Raul Midon feat Jason Mraz - Keep On Holding MP3

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

MrDJ - Priceless

Pleasure and Pain

The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better. That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something, and there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that's okay. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.

Meredith Grey
Grey's Anatomy Season 3
Episode 3: Sometimes a Fantasy

Prisonbreak Break

No Prisonbreak tonight... Baseball... Darn it!
Prisonbreak returns 2 weeks from now...

Dark and Twisty 2

I don’t know what’s been happening to me these days.

Phone calls from…
SMS from…
YM chats from…

When did it all started?
Couple of weeks ago.
Almost a month.

I’m so fucked up to think
Some people were already asking who I talk to in my mobile…
Who I chat with everyday
Who….

It’s not singular
Let me count….
My magic number – One, Two, Three.

Someone even asked if I’m already in a relationship…
No I’m not.
I think not.
No.

I‘m a flirt
I flirt when I want to
I’ll be whoever you want me to be.
But am I flirting too much…

Think. I need to think.
I don’t want to think.
I told myself that I’ll just go with it
Whatever happens.
No more overanalyzing.

But no promises.
I don’t want to promise anything that I cannot fully commit

Oh my…
Am I that dark and twisty?

Friday, October 06, 2006

Crazy Patty

Unofficial Mexican Patty Mascots! MrDJ and Awimawek!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Ugly Betty, 6 Degrees and Heroes

"Ugly Betty" stars America Ferrera as Betty Suarez, Eric Mabius as Daniel Meade, Alan Dale as Bradford Meade, Tony Plana as Ignacio, Ana Ortiz as Hilda, Ashley Jensen as Christina, Becki Newton as Amanda, Mark Indelicato as Justin and Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater. Recurring guest stars are Michael Urie as Marc and Kevin Sussman as Walter.

Based on "Yo Soy Betty La Fea," the groundbreaking Colombian telenovela that became an international phenomenon, "Ugly Betty" is from Touchstone Television. Academy Award nominee and Emmy Award winner Salma Hayek is executive producer, along with Silvio Horta ("Urban Legends"), Ben Silverman, ("The Office"), Jose Tamez ("The Maldonado Miracle"), James Parriott ("Grey's Anatomy") and James Hayman ("Joan of Arcadia").



They say that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person through a chain of six people, which means that no one is a stranger... for long.

"Six Degrees" stars Jay Hernandez ("Friday Night Lights") as Carlos, Bridget Moynahan ("Sex and the City") as Whitney, Erika Christensen ("Flightplan") as Mae, Dorian Missick ("Lucky Number Slevin") as Damian, with Campbell Scott ("The Secret Lives of Dentists") as Steven and Hope Davis ("About Schmidt") as Laura.

Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. MP3



As a total eclipse casts its shadow across the globe, a genetics professor (Sendhil Ramamurthy, "Blind Guy Driving") in India is led by father's disappearance to uncover a secret theory -- there are people with super powers living among us. A young dreamer (Milo Ventimiglia, "Gilmore Girls") tries to convince his politician brother (Adrian Pasdar, "Judging Amy") that he can fly. A high school cheerleader (Hayden Panettiere, "Ice Princess") learns that she is totally indestructible. A Las Vegas stripper (Ali Larter, "Final Destination"), struggling to make ends meet to support her young son (Noah Gray-Cabey, "My Wife & Kids"), discovers that her mirror image has a secret. A fugitive from justice (Leonard Roberts, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") continues to baffle authorities who twice have been unable to contain him. A gifted artist (Santiago Cabrera, "Empire"), whose drug addiction is destroying his life and relationship with his girlfriend (Tawny Cypress, NBC's "Third Watch"), can paint the future. A down-on-his-luck Los Angeles beat cop (Greg Grunberg, "Alias") can hear people's thoughts, which puts him on the trail of an elusive serial killer. In Japan, a young man (Masi Oka, NBC's "Scrubs") develops a way to stop time through sheer will power. Their ultimate destiny is nothing less than saving the world… Heroes

Rogue Wave - Eyes MP3


TV Shows Music Guide

With the absence of Rockstar and American Idol, I’m gonna post mp3s from MY favorite shows. Let’ start with Grey’s Anatomy! Later on, I’ll be posting music from The OC, One Tree Hill, Brothers & Sisters, etc.

All mp3s will be uploaded in my multiply account. You don’t need an account to access it. Just go and click the music page. BUT if you decide to have a multiply account (where you can upload UNLIMITED photos (without any size restrictions), UNLIMITED mp3s, etc, add me up okay!


Grey’s Anatomy: Time Has Come Today
Dixie Chicks - Lullaby
Emiliana Torrini - Nothing Brings Me Down
Gnarls Barkley - Gone Daddy Gone
Grant Lee Phillips - Under the Milky Way
Mat Kearney - All I Need *highly recommended
Sleeping At Last - Quicksand
Tegan and Sara - Take Me Anywhere


Grey’s Anatomy: I Am A Tree
Jesus Jackson - Running on Sunshine
Mat Kearney - Crashing Down
Moloko - The Time Is Now
Bitter:Sweet - The Mating Game *highly recommended
Snow Patrol - Open Your Eyes
The Chalets - Theme From Chalets


Brothers and Sisters: Patriarchy
Eliane Elias - Running *highly recommended
KT Tunstall - Under the Weather
Rachel Yamagata - Be Be Your Love


One Tree Hill: The Same Water As You
Dashboard Confessional - Don't Wait


How I Met Your Mother: Where Were We?
Grant Lee Philips - Boys Don't Cry

Monday, October 02, 2006

The Fray - Over My Head



The Fray - Over My Head (Cable Car) MP3

3 days with no posts

Yeah, 3 days. Let me tell you why…

Thursday. Actually, I posted an entry in my blog last Thursday. Around noon, the electricity went out. The Luzon area of the Philippines was under the typhoon named “Milenyo.” Around 4pm, water started rising. Around 430pm, my room was flooded with dark (and twisty) murky waters. Around 5pm, it was already waste deep. See pic below. Sad really, that was my room for the last 24 years.


Friday. We stayed at my lola’s place. Still, no electricity. Damn it! Thank God my laptop was fully charged. But my celfone’s dead. No phone lines. Disaster really.

Saturday. Electricity went back around 6pm. Phone was back as well! YAY! Anyway, in the morning, we were cleaning up our new place. (Blogger’s personal note: Need to change my home address). My room was smaller though. I’ve been sketching about my room’s internal design. Minimalist metrosexual look. No leather though.

Sunday. Still cleaning up “Milenyo’s mess.”

Monday. Back to work. Checked my 150++ emails (since Thursday). But there’s this one email, sent around 9:20am, in which he needs a response by 12noon. Errrr….

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Dark and Twisty

I decided not to work at the office today. I was stranded, thanks to the typhoon and oh-so gloomy weather. I love it. Working from home. I don't have to be logged in the office's network, no annoying phone calls, and I won't see the people that I really don't want to see. I just hope that I have a faster internet connection to watch YouTube videos, download MP3s and the occasional porn. Ha!

Right now, I'm actually on a "retreat." Not spiritual type of retreat where all you do is pray. I'm actually trying to understand where my life is right now. Family, Friends, Career and What-ifs. At one point, I realize that I try to please everyone first before I please myself. I'm arrogant, I'm an a-hole, I'm sarcastic. But at the end of the day, I have to please the people around me. I just want to give them what they want.

I need to change my life's philosophy. Need to work on my own happiness first. I asked some advice from R* a couple of weeks ago, also emailed XO, and had a quick chat with RC. This time, I was seeking advice. In the next couple of months, things will change. You may not like it, but I do. I hope I do.

Live life like there's no tomorrow. Carpe Diem. But of course, this should be done with some caution. I need to stop overanalyzing things in my head. I need to be ME. The guy who loves to have fun, who doesn't drink beer but can drink 8 glasses of margarita (with 2 limes please), the guy who loves to dance, the person who thinks that a little bit of silence is good, the employee who knows when to have a good sense of humor and when to draw the line of professionalism.

I am Dark and Twisty, I'm currently living my crappy life. I made my life crap and it's time to clean up my mess.

I'm ready to be me.

All I Need



Mat Kearney - All I Need MP3

Here it comes it’s all blowing in tonight
I woke up this morning to a blood red sky
They’re burning on the bridge turning off the lights
We’re on the run I can see it in your eyes

If nothing is safe then I don’t understand
You call me your boy but I’m trying to be the man
One more day and it’s all slipping with the sand
You touch my lips and grab the back of my hand
The back of my hand...

*This song was featured in Grey's Anatomy. I really love the lyrics of this song! Mat Kearney is awesome!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Wait A Minute

The University of the Philippines is a BIG CAMPUS. There are diverse people at the academe. All the types. But we were tagged as the school that raises political activists.

All of us are political activist. Some people just want to keep their mouth shut I guess.

But what happened this morning was downright wrong. We have to respect people in order to be respected. Even if they are to corrupt to funcition, why resort to an egg throwing competition?

I was somehow affected by the news. Now, they were calling us "WALANG PINAG-ARALAN."

We're back from stereotyping colleges. UP as the school for activists? DLSU/AdMU as the schools for the rich dumb students? FEU aka Jolina Magdangal Univestiy?

Sad, really.

The Merge

Late this afternoon, we had a big meeting with all the employees in our factory. The MERGE will be discussed. The two factories in our company will be merged together. Our counterparts in the other factory will now be merged to ours. Most of us already knew that this merge will happen. Actually, the other factory made their announcement yesterday. We had our official communication today.

I wasn't sure if i wanted to attend. I thought that I'll just sit at my desk and browse through YouTube videos or watch the latest episode of Prisobreak in my laptop. But later on I decided to go to the meeting and check it out.

I was late, a lot of people were late. Checked my mobile, I'm just 2 minutes late. The people in front of me said that the meeting already started and they don't want to go inside. They were scared that our factory manager might call our attention for being late. I then recalled that this meeting was not in my calendar so sue me for being late. I entered the room, sat beside Miguel, and played with my mobile phone.

One slide after another, the changes were discussed. Restructured/merged departments, etc. Didn't care, really. I guess i was so fed up with monthly organizational changes. After the presentation came Q&As. There was a question about why having 2 managers in 1 department. The other one about next year's performance reviews. The other one about budget.

Then I raised my hand, took the microphone from our factory manager, and asked a question. I stood up and didn't bothered introducing myself to him. I doesn't matter anyway. What's more important is I have to ask my question.

"So... There were no headcount reductions during this merge. But as you said, as we move on, activities will be streamlined. Meetings will be merged as well. We'll continue working on efficiency. Later on, in the future, are we expecting headcount reductions. I am an RRP IE, the other factory has their own RRP IE. Sooner or later, we will only need 1. So again, in the future, are we expecting headcount reductions?"

In 3 words, aside from a very politician-like response as if he's pacifying everyone, I'll sum up his response - No Job Security.

I actually don't need my question to be answered. I just want some people to realize that this merge, in the future, MIGHT mean headcount reductions. Layoffs. The merging of 2 factories is great, no doubt. But this MIGHT also mean that some people will get kicked out.

I'm not scared nor shocked about this merge-announcement. I was disappointed with our managers for keeping these changes from us. Where's open communication? Where's transparency? I do understand that at a certain level, managers need to keep some stuff confidential. But since this merge has direct impact to their people, why not inform them before hand. Not do it from a Top-Down approach.

Maybe I still care about my job. Maybe because I don't have a new job yet. No job security.

**After the meeting, we went out for a smoke. We then saw Sharmy (the IE from the other factory). She said that I was somewhat a snob when I asked the question (not even introducing myself first). She then said that her co-IEs asked who I was. Hahaha... I guess, the good thing about this merge is that I'll have more characters in my blog.

Whatdafuckhappenedinthisblog

I uploaded a new template and I screwed it up. It didn't worked. Eff! Hahaha! So for now, no tagboards, no links, nada. Zero. Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll have a new blog design.

Multiply with Intel

Really hip ads from Intel.



Monday, September 25, 2006

7 to 4

645am - Docked my computer. Synchronized my emails. 100+ unread messages since Friday. Deleted more than 50 of them.

7am - Went out for coffee and a smoke.

715am - Took another stick of cigarettes. I need to kill time.

730am - Went back to my cube. Read a couple of emails, deleted emails, replied.

8am - Meeting.

9am - Stalled. Went outside to smoke, again.

945am - Went outside to buy a pack of cigarettes.

11am - Browsed the internet.

1145am - Made a quick analysis.

12noon - Lunch

1pm - Continued my analysis

2pm - Smoke

3pm - Analysis continues

4pm - Done with analysis. Went home.

I'm bored. Within the week, I'll be expecting a call from another company about the results of my job interview. If they don't call me by Friday, I'll call them up. I'm ready to go.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Belated


I got my smoking habits from her.

Hahahaha!

Believe me, this is my mom.

Don't try to mess with me or you'll mess with her.

She's into Powerlifting (not just bodybuilding) and just recently, women's wrestling.

Need a personal trainer, send me an email and i'll give you more info.

Belated Happy Birthday Supermom

Priceless

"Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to."

Thanks Meredith....

No Cry

I was listening to some music, at random, and suddenly, this music came-up. Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry." My old (literally old) college bud Kristofer (aka Kookie and his Kookie Car) introduced this song to me during his recent break-up with Mia years ago.

And so... here's Bob Marley's classic... Let's put some reggae music on shall we?

Bob Marley - No Woman No Cry MP3

Everythings gonna be all right!
Everythings gonna be all right!
Everythings gonna be all right!
Everythings gonna be all right!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

me

I want to stop wanting something better. I want to stop wanting things I can’t have. I want for it to be alright for me to be sad. I want to know how people really see me. And then I never want to care about it again.

I want to stop being afraid of people. Of myself. I want to feel better, not just wish that I could. I want people to understand me. I want for it to be alright for me to be me.

I want to know that I’m valued. I want to stop attracting my worst fears. I want to be brave. I want to stop being destructive. Self, or otherwise. I want to stop being hurt. I want to stop covering it up.

I want to stop looking at my life and seeing so much wrong with it. I want to only see the good, never the bad. I want to speak softer, be more kind. I want to handle difficult situations gracefully.

I want to be okay. I want to stop making the same mistakes. I want to be comfortable with a new path. I want to start my new path now. I want to know that what I see is indeed the truth. I want to just let go, fall, and know that I’ll be safe.

I want to go to bed every night satisfied. I want to be undeniably happy, and I want to shout it from the roof tops. I want someone to want. And have them want me right back. I want to know when I’ve got a good one, and stop fucking it up. I want to never want again.

Single Guy - Not For Sale

Singlehood. Why did I think it was a good idea to take this path? I’m doing something different. I was putting myself out there. Therefore, I can’t be blamed for being single. I took a chance, I ran at the risk and while it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, it made me realize: it just isn’t going to happen this way. I am not an easy way out kind of guy. I know now that things don’t come easily to me, and that this is just my fate. My cards have been dealt; it’s up to me to know when to fold them, know when to hold them, know when to walk away and know when to win.

This path is not falling in love. What a joke. It’s finding a good enough candidate and forcing it to happen. It’s having expectations – already planning out what you will and won’t tell the other person. There’s no other reason to be there, other than to hopefully cash out a winner.

I cannot take this path because it goes against everything I am. Jumping into a frigid body of water, and flailing around is not my style. Beyond taking risks, I never show my true colors until I know the water is warm. I never jump in, and not for fear of drowning, but it takes time for me to be drawn out, or drawn in. One never knows my true colors upon initial meeting, not after a few drinks, not after warnings about wrong impressions. You absolutely cannot rush me; I take my time.

Putting a profile on a website declaring who I am and what I want is everything I am not. I might wear t-shirts that bark snarky comments, but despite you perhaps knowing my shoe size and my affinity for sarcasm, you really still know nothing about me. It takes time; months even, to see me. To know me. Who I really am as the wolf inside the sheep. No profile that only allows me only 2000 words is going to properly convey who I am. To anyone.

It’s not common knowledge that I like to smack people in the face when things get heated. But I dare not to do anything over things childish and full of shit. No one knows that a gnashing of teeth on my earlobe sends me into a tailspin or that I like it when it hurts. When people discover such things they often follow up with a shocked, “Why are you single?” Because I don’t advertise, or broadcast what turns me on. And when I display kindness, thoughtfulness, or love they wonder even further how I escaped being snapped up.

I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve or my story on my surface. I traveled the path of least resistance because I wanted to put an end to the endless barrage of questions. I wanted someone to love, without having to consider if my love was wanted or reciprocated. I don’t want to be standing alone in a sea of couples at Christmas, because then, then everything that is wrong with your life is glaring, too apparent, and hard to swallow. When all you see is the perfect in others, the flaw in you is too obvious. I don’t want to have to have someone to make somebody else comfortable. I don’t want to have to have someone to fit in.

It’s not a compliment when people ask why you’re single, and then list all the reasons you shouldn’t be. Being single when you don’t want to be is hard enough, but then to deal with sideways glances, build-ups that lead to let downs is too much to bear. Being made to feel inadequate because you need someone to be someone is fucked up. I am an entire person by myself.

Love is not going to come to me over a broadband connection. It’s almost as unlikely as being a Bachelor. I don’t know much about where my life is headed; I have ideas, dreams, and goals, but there is one thing I know is true. I’ll only find love when it is already a part of my life.

The Reunion 2

It was a big success. I survived all small talks that came up during my grandma's 70th birthday party. I have the perfect prop during these small talks: my baby cousin marcus.

Guest: hey you look great. Are you working right now?
MrDJ: Yup, been working for more than two years already. By the way, this is Bam-bam
Guest: Hi Bam-bam
(the attention goes to Bam-bam).

Haha!

The party was grandma-like. The party started at 530pm, a lot of them left before 8pm (sleeping time for nana). Typical "eat-and-run" birthday dinner. Around 830pm, we started singing in front of the karaoke. We went home around 930pm.

2 of my cousins... i mean cousins who are of the same age as I am, were there. D was with her husband and baby. C was with his girlfriend. I talked to D for a while but her baby kept on crying. Never talked to C. That's good. C is full of shit anyway.

Oh my, i'll be 24 tomorrow. I'll be 24 on the 24th of September around 11:24pm. 24-24-24. Divided by 4. 6-6-6. hahaha. Yup, I am the Devil. But I prefer the Ruler of Darkness. No big deal about this 24/24 thing. I'm getting older but I'm still young. My grand Aunts/Uncles asked me if I have a girlfriend or already married. I guess they expect people to get married at the age of 21. I really don't see myself getting married. This singlehood works for me. Maybe i'll just freeze some sperms and in the future, find a surrogate to bear my kid. Everyone's doing it.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

DDAY....

In the next couple of days, I might not post anything in this blog. I'm on vacation leave on Friday, my grandma's birthday will be on saturday and I'll be sleeping all day on Sunday. Busy busy busy. Anyway, by Monday or late Sunday, do wait for the new and improved Jeepney Diaries blog. I'll be changing things starting with the blog design. Expect more sarcastic posts, hate posts, mp3s, and more. More drama. More action. More In-Your-Face posts. I'm starting to let go of my true feelings (awwwwww) and true self. Who is DJ anyway? You'll soon find out. Hahaha!

As for your BDAY gifts, just email me so I can give you my address. Any gift will do. You can even wrap yourself up but don't forget to put a red bow because i like things with red bows.

So there, see you on late Sunday or early Monday. Do leave your BDAY messages in this post. Even indescent proposals. Hahaha.

2 Years and 3 Months

Today, Sepetember 21, 2006, is my 2nd Year, 3rd month working in the same company. I hope that I will not celebrate my 3rd year here. I just don’t know when will I resign from work (of course, I need to secure a new job somewhere else). At first I thought that I’ll last more than 10 years here but hell no. I'll be packing my shit before June 21, 2007.



Scissor Sisters - I Don’t Feel Like Dancing MP3

Wake up in the morning with a head like ‘what ya done?’
This used to be the life but I don’t need another one.
Good luck cuttin’ nothin’, carrying on, you wear them gowns.
So how come I feel so lonely when you’re up getting down?

So I play along when I hear that special song
I’m gonna be the one who gets it right.
You better know when you’re swingin’ round the room
Look’s like magic’s solely yours tonight

But I don’t feel like dancin’
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can’t find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft shoe, gently sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’
No sir, no dancin’ today.

Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why’d you break it down when I’m not in the mood?
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Rather be home with the one in the bed 'til dawn with you.

Cities come and cities go just like the old empires
When all you do is change your clothes and call that versatile.
You got so many colours make a blind man so confused.
Then why can’t I keep up when you’re the only thing I lose?

So I’ll just pretend that I know which way to bend
And I’m gonna tell the whole world that you’re mine.
Just please understand, when I see you clap your hands
If you stick around I’m sure that I'll be fine.

[Repeat Chorus]

You can’t make me dance too well boy. your two-step makes my chest pound.
Just lay me down as you float away into the shimmer light.

[Repeat Chorus]

Hot New Show - HEROES





Meet The People In Your Neighborhood. [Source: NBC-Heroes]

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Reunion

Actually, it's my Grandmother's 70th birthday celebration, this coming Saturday. I love parties but I really don't like partying with my cousins and relatives. Too many questions being asked. Too much gossiping. A large amount of small talk will be involved. Need to prep my self up.

Not only do I dislike small talk, it actually makes me nervous. I am not the wallflower type but sober conversation for the sake of sober conversation, with people I would never encounter in day-to-day life, confuses me. And so, being somewhat neurotic, I began compiling a conversational cheat sheet of inoffensive topics/questions/stories.


1. Weather. Variations on the the it’s So Hard To Find Clothes to Wear For This Time Of Year. Segue into the inaccuracies of the weather channel.

2. Cooking. “Do you like to cook?” If yes, prod for recipes, if no, exchange cooking disaster stories. I have one. Again, small talk.

3. Commuting/Air travel. “Did you have trouble getting here?” “Air travel is very unreliable.” “Was your flight delayed? Cancelled?”

4. Movies. “You saw _______? I was thinking of seeing it. How was it?” Repeat as necessary.

5. Books. “I’m reading _______. It’s really interesting. It’s about ___________.” Repeat as necessary.

6. Babies. “Do you have pictures? I love babies. Ohhhhhh…he is adorable.” Maintain rapt attention while listening to the story of Baby’s First Poop and The Other Day Baby Said “Boohoo”.

7. Advice. “What do you know about _____?” Maintain wide-eyed expression while listening to long, garbling, most likely incorrect explanation of basic phenomenon.

Then when the uncomfortable silence comes, which it always does, I must remember to maintain a pleasant expression and, at the end of the night, express what a wonderful time I have had.

What is scary is that some people really do enjoy these types of things. I don't. I just want to dance and drink. But the party that we're throwing are for grannies. Ayayayay!

Aside from small talk, my cousins/relatives would be asking me these questions:

1. Do you have a girlfriend? <-- No. I plan to get rich and buy my own country first.

2. Are you hiring? <-- Do I look like I'm from HR?

3. Wow you're rich? <-- You won't see me in this country if I'm rich

4. Why are you wearing pink? <-- Actually, i decided to change my clothes from Pink to Green. Just to avoid this question.

5. When will you get married? <-- I've seen screwed up marriages so why bother

6. Don't you want kids? <-- There's a thing called adaption

7. Hey, can i borrow moner? <-- Hey, why don't you look for a job!

Oh my, i'm half-excited! I mean, bitching all night long with people... okay... relatives that you won't see til; next reunion or till the next big family related party.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Bringing Senti Back

Running out of stuff to post... this song is for XO. Haaaaay.... Miss you. But i guess its best for us to part ways. We both have screwed up lives. We need to fix them first. Again, let's see in the next couple of months/years. We'll just have to wait and see if we're really meant to be. Okay. I'm just sorry that things have to end up this way. We're both young, and we have a lot of places to go to. People to meet. Bosses to kill. You have to run your business. Soon, i promise, we'll cross paths again. And by that time, it'll be more serious.

Reason Why
Rachael Yamagata

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or where ever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and
I'll find your list in a different name
But as close as I get to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I, you and I know the reason why.

Rachael Yamagata - Reason Why MP3 (via Silly Piped Dreams)
Tagged by Awimawek.

dalawampung tanong, dalawampung sagot

1. How often do you blog? EVERYDAY. 2-3 posts a day.
2. Online Alias: MrDJ, DJ, Call_Boi (LOL), Studmuffin82 (Way way back)
3. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? YUP!
4. What do you do most often when you are bored? Watch DVD, read a book, blog, and drink advil
5. When bathing, which do you wash first? Get my feet wet.
6. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? College days.
7. What color looks best on you? Right now... green/earth tones.
8. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Vodka Ice
9. Do you believe in heaven and hell as a real place that each of us will go to after death? No.
10. Do you find that you have more online friends than offline friends? No.
11. What was your favorite subject in school? Inventory Management, Product Development, Stretching Classes
12. Are you a perfectionist? At some point yes.
13. Do you spend more than you can afford? Yes.... that's why i need to cut my credit card
14. Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have love before? Yes.
15. Do you consider yourself creative? Yes.
16. Do you give yourself the credit you deserve? Yes.
17. Do you donate time or money to charities? Yes. Greenpeace Asia!
18. Have you recently done something that you've criticized others for doing? Countless times
19. What's on your mind? The PCM job at KFP! I WANT IT!
20. Say one nice thing about the person who tagged you and the five people that you are going to tag. Awimawek needs slippers when in a motel... hotel pala. hahahahaha. 5 people? I dunno. Anyone. Blah.

Brief Encounters

Last Friday, after-lunch discussion was about men’s underwear. Hahahaha. Here are my brief encounters.

I don’t usually wear boxer shorts. I wear it when I sleep though. DON’T wear boxer shorts when you wear slacks or cotton pants. You don’t want junior saying hi to the crowd during your presentation. I own 4 boxers. I love this one, my red-checkered boxer shorts. Exhibit A.



Right now, I own a lot of hipster/lowrise undies. Better than classic briefs. I mean, I don’t wear jeans above my hips. I usually wear it within my hips. See Exhibit B.


Now, I’m loving Bench’s seamless undies. It doesn’t leave any garter marks on your hips. The fabric is really great. SEAMLESS. Exhibit C, my green seamless undies. Hahaha!



Now now, I also wear boxer briefs. I have 4 boxer briefs. This afternoon, I bought another one. Exhibit D… white boxer briefs… with a chain… LOL


Really… why with a chain? Hahahaha… You won’t see me wearing this boxer briefs with the chain on it. I mean… how could I explain it to the security guards when I pass by metal detectors? “Uhmmm… I have a chain in my undies, wanna check it out?” It’s like asking women why they have wires on their bra. Hahaha….


I’ll be using the chains for my money clip OR my celfone case. Or maybe to tie-up someone. Hahahaha!

Okay... now that i've shown you my undies... care to let me see yours? Hahahaha.... LOL.

Self Induced Insomnia

now.... now i can't sleep. again.

Periodically, I have a sleepless or "sleep-minimized" night. Lately, it's been about twice or thrice a week. This past Monday night was brutal. So much that it wiped me out for the next two days with a cold. But i still need to go to work.

Now I'm having trouble sleeping again and I don't want to wipe myself out into a cold relapse tomorrow morning . . . . i have an interview and i need to look at my very best.

Sometimes it feels like my insomnia is self-induced. Late evening dvd watching turns into a "late evening to early morning" disaster. Usually when I'm stressed (which seems to be every workday). Other times, it's like tonight -- I'm asleep, but then I wake up randomly (either I'm too hot or uncomfortable) and it seems like I've innoculated myself with just enough initial sleep that I'm doomed for the rest of the night.

Ugh.

Grogglily longing for the blessing of sleep, DEEJ

blurry

the life i pretend i have and the life i have has been a constant struggle for me my entire life. sometimes i don't live in my own reality. i blur the lines and end up on the outside looking in. i imagine myself like i would like to be instead of what i am, at times. i feel like i am missing out on the bigger picture. but i am thinking things through right now and this is the truth: i don't like where my life is going.

in the past couple of weeks i have had a small lapse in self-discipline... motivation.. peace.. and control... my happiness is still there in a huge way... it just seems quieter...

Friday, September 15, 2006

D-A-T-E

It's incredibly amazing to me that there's an entire industry based on people's loneliness. As if loneliness is a disease and these internet companies are out there selling a cure - match.com, JDate, eHarmnoy, 8 Minute dating. Oh, and there's an indirect marketing strategy provided by Friendster, Multiply, even through blogs. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure these are great outlets for some people and in fact, I've knew people hooking up through the internet.

Call me immature or closed minded, but right now, until I'm comfortable saying "we met on xxxxxx.com" it looks like I'm doing this dating thing the old fashioned way. Again, I can change my mind in a minute (like always). What's wrong with the "old-fashioned way." Hmm.... but actually, the "old-fashioned way" was through a matchmaker. Perhaps I'll have to reconsider my approach.

But speaking of approaches, how do I meet "My One And Only?" Or just a date or something. It seems like with everything else in my life, I have a game plan. Picking a career. Running a marathon (LOL). So why do we not have a game plan for finding "Our One and Only?"

Should we spare ourselves with destiny and faith. Oh my. That'll be scary.

Still Single... DJ

Find Joaquin A Date

Should i set-up my own "Date DJ" blog? Hahahaha... But instead of finding a date before Christmas, I need to someone to take me (dinner, movie, the complete drill) on my birthday which is 9 days from now. Is it feasible? I guess... hehehe...

"So here’s the drill… I’m Joaquin Valdes, and I’ve just realized that 100 Days after September 17, 2006 is Christmas! You know what else I’ve realized? 100 days from September 17, I might be spending Christmas, single…available…romantically, ALONE! That’s why I’m here… to prove to everyone else that ONLY if you exert enough amount of effort, love will come its way. I’m here to prove that only someone who takes an active participation in his/her love life will get that special gift this Christmas. Would you be my date? Or would you help me out? Set me up! Refer a Date! We’ll never know.. you might just be our lovely Cupid." - http://datejoaquin.com

Puka Puka

Go team Puka Puka! Go Jenny and Brad. Wait! Is Brad really half-Filipino?

Storm Large and the Balls


Click here to download Storm Large live mp3s (from their concert @ The Sweetwater Saloon - Mill Valley, California).

I love Ladylike and I Want You To Die. Boo-Yah!

Concert Track List (download them here)

Storm Large and the Balls - Ladylike (Concert)

Storm Large and the Balls - I Want You To Die (Concert)

Rockstar Supernova - Finale

Late post... here are the MP3s and other bonus tracks. Do check out the 2 songs from Lukas' band Cleavage (Playboy and Grip). I also posted Storm's Ladylike (sample audio. I'm still looking for the complete track). For Toby Fans, go to their Juke Kartel's MySpace (still looking for their mp3s).

Magni - Fire (Finale) (2:03)
Toby Rand - White Wedding (Finale) (2:06)
Toby Rand - Somebody Told Me (Finale) (1:56)
Dilana - Zombie (Finale) (1:54)
Lukas Rossi - Bittersweet Symphony (Finale) (1:58)
Supernova - It's All Love (Finale) (3:12)
Supernova - Be Yourself (3:37)



Storm Large and the Balls - Ladylike (2:00)




Cleavage (Lukas Rossi) - Playboy (4:59)
Cleavage (Lukas Rossi) - Grip (4:42)

Or go to MrDJ's Multiply!

THANK YOU FOR CHECKING OUT MY BLOG FOR THE LATEST ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA MP3s! YAY!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Lukas Rossi - Headspin

All I want to say
is you’re the sattellite in my life
You don’t have to lie
You don’t have to cry anymore

Lost inside your eyes
The vision never dies
Oh just take my hand
or float and never land

Then I hear you say
“Let’s live for the moment this time”
Then you want to keep me forever
Why don’t you just make up your mind

You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why do you
You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why

You love to build me up
just to tear me down
Wouldn’t it be nice
if we found paradise someday

Then I hear you say
“Let’s live for the moment this time”
Then you want to keep me forever
Why don’t you just make up your mind

You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why do you
You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why

Did I hear you say
you wanna be alone
Or was it a mistake
How would we ever know
I can’t hear you scream
You wanna be alone
I can’t hear you scream at me
scream at me

I’m not perfect
I’m not perfect
No, no, no
I’m not perfect
I’m not perfect

You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why do you
You make my head spin
You make my head spin

Did I ever mean something
Did I ever mean something to you
Did I ever mean something
Did I ever mean something to you

what should i do...

on my birthday... on the 24th of September. need your suggestions. :)

Rockstar Supernova - Week 11

Week 11... with Ryan performing his original.

1. Dilana - Roxanne (1:56)
2. Dilana - Supersoul (2:37)
3. Toby Rand - Karma Police (2:08)
4. Toby Rand - Throw It Away (2:33)
5. Lukas - Fix You (2:24)
6. Lukas - Headspin (2:21)
7. Magni - Hush (2:31)
8. Magni - When The Time Comes (2:23)
9. Ryan - Back of Your Car (2:10)

or go to MrDJ's Multiply
Pic from Rickey.org

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

poke me and die

the drama

i am not in any way happy nor contented for the past few months........

i dont know. im always attracting drama. drama magnet. like nothing is gonna go right with the things i do. and the weird thing there is, i like it. i like it when im sad. i like it when im hurt, and then i rant and rant like there's no tomorrow. it seems like wallowing is something that will make me complete. honestly, im tired of it. and im trying to get some things in order, and organize a lot of stuff in my life.

it's sad. but i cant complain.

anyway, life does go on. and i shouldnt let myself be just another pebble stone being washed away into nothingness. aaahh!!! melancholy!!!!!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Mono

what's going on?

surely everyone i know would ask me this if ever they bumped into me in a mall or somewhere else.

so, what's up with me?

what's up with you pare?

i live a monotonous life.

i wake up, get my coffee fix, wait for the company shuttle, get another fix, work, patrol the floor, do errands, get take out lucnh, smoke on breaks, go home.

i am tired. i am bored.

as much as i try to escape monotony, i just can't do it right now... sometimes i hope i could just leave everything behind and try to live a "normal" life. or study again (abroad this time). or go on a long vacation. which i know i cant. im trapped in this kind of life. having nights out with old friends is a luxury i indulge every now and then. i don't miss my past life. i just dow't want everything to be serious.

but now, i face everything on my own. sure, i have my officemates and some bloggers chatting with me online, but i cant burden them with my troubles. i can whine. but i can not explode.

i look into the future, and i get scared. what will i be in the next five years? where will i live? where am i working? who will be my new friends? will i be fat? will i be studying by then? who will be my partner? have i paid credit card bill in full at that time? will i still be with my marlboro menthol lights?

everything is unsure. all depends on how i would see things in time. and that's what's scary.
if someone asked me if i were happy, it would take me as much as a minute before i could reply. right now, i dont know if i am. i guess i'm just... coping. adapting with the change. doing the same things everyday is making my mind numb. And dumb. Lately, no one has ever told me i was smart. or that i talk sense. Jay even told me flat out that i'm getting fat. harsh! at least he's honest. hahahaha... i love a bit of humor every now and then.

anyone can predict my day. i cant complain. i chose this life. i could've done something else. i could've chose to go the other way. like the philip-morris job last year. or take that unilever interview last january. but i didnt.

in retrospect, my life before was unplanned. everything was spontaneous. everything was crazy.
aaargh.

i need a shot of vodka.

Bad Day Monday

I felt so grouchy this Monday. Fucked-up Monday. Dunno what's been happening with me lately... I have to revised an excel file 4 times (i blame it to poor training and transition), i was unable to do what I was supposed to accomplish today (everything seems to be urgent, important, critical and soooo time consuming).

I have to force myself to sleep early. I have to force myself to wake-up and go to work. Bad sign...

I don't do projects anymore... Well, I do not look for projects. I'll just do whatever was asked for me to do.

The drive of working hard to make a good career at Intel died a couple of months back.

No... it's not because the top execs screwed up with their over-staffing and sudden lay-offs.
No... it's not about the down to the minute changes in the org structures.
No... it's not about the stocks.

It's about something else. Something that Intel cannot offer.

Prisonbreak.....

Can't Wait!

I forgot to post this last week

Dilana - I Want You To Want Me (Cheap Trick)
Storm - Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd)

Skyflakes

Sunday, September 10, 2006

These Are Our Obsessions

We're obsessed with beauty and how to look good.

I'm not saying we shouldn't aim high.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't all get ourselves healthy (washboard abs included).

I'm not saying we shouldn't dress well and eat well and moisturise regularly and and have a haircut twice a month and do all of that other stuff we are meant to be good at.

But i guess we should tone it down a bit.

As for me... yeah, i'm still trying to lose a couple of inches off my waist and try rebuilding my biceps/triceps. I lost a couple of pounds last month but I'm not gaining any muscle. Need to do my push-ups and bicep curls and abs exercises again.

But you won't see me working out in the gym 7-days a week.

I have more unimportant things to do...

Good Deeds #1

I was at the mall last Saturday after my P&G exam. I met Miko of Greenpeace and signed up for a quarterly contribution. I thought that I have to give something back to mother nature. I'm already contributing bags and bags of cigarette butts. And since I cannot quit smoking anytime soon, I guess I have to pay up and help. Though what i really wanted is to volunteer for a Greenpeace mission, with work right now, i don't have the luxury of time.

Miko told me that they'll be sending out emails and invitations. He also told me that if they need volunteers for some Greenpeace gigs, they'll ask the sponsors. I hope to do some volunteer work. Clean up somebody elses waste.

Join Greenpeace! Email them at Greenpeace.Philippines@ph.greenpeace.org (if you're from the Philippines) or visit them at http://www.greenpeace.org/international/

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Exam?

Usually, every weekend, i wake up at around noon for lunch and watch a movie, or read a book, etc. But today, i have to wake up at 630am. I have to go to Makati for my P&G exam at 930am at 6750. An exam that i already took (and passed) 3 years ago. Jay said that maybe they'll check if na-bobo ako after 3 years. Harhar.

I arrived around 8am and decided to get breakfast at Starbucks. Java frappe and Bagel with Cream Cheese... Wait, is the barrista flirting with me or baka naman trabaho lang. Wahahaha... Weird. A good sign :)

Around 9am, i went to 6750. While I was getting an ID, i checked the visitor's logsheet and saw that around 30 people will be taking the exam as well. What shocked me the most was that around 20 of them were already there around 8am. Yung iba 7am pa lang. Excited? Hahaha. My rule is that an applicant should be at his scheduled exam or interview 30-45 minutes earlier. Not 2.5 hours kasi masyadong maaga. Hahaha.

I went to the 20th floor and took an answer sheet, a pencil and 1 sheet of paper. I stepped in the room and saw my "competitors." Most of them were wearing slacks, ties, blazers, etc. I was wearing my black long sleeved shirt, hipster/boot legged pants, and leather shoes. This was just an exam, i thought. I don't need to dress to impress. I'm keeping it casual.

While waiting for our exam, a checked out the people around me. I guess most of them were recent college graduates. My seatmates were from DLSU... MEM folks. Then I saw my eye candy for the day :) Lalalalala.

We started the exam, we were given 65 minutes to answer 50 multiple choice questions. I started with the math questions (nerd alert) which was really easy. Hahaha. Yabang.

After the exam, we were told to stay for 30 minutes. They'll be checking the exam and we will be told if we passed. Harsh. While waiting, I was pretending to read my book. I was actually staring at my eye candy. One by one, we were given a sheet of paper. Oh my.... Hahaha... One of my seatmates failed the exam. Too bad. Eye candy passed! I passed. Again. LOL. Then we were given another sheet of paper with 9 essay questions. I answered it and went home.

Now, the waiting game begins.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Christmas 2005

Last year, we had our Christmas party at Ali's place. The theme was Reggae Christmas party which was better than the White Party that we had in 2004. Dunno what will be this year's theme.




1 Hollywood - Dress up as your favorite TV/Movie character. I'll be Jack Sparrow.
2 The Grind - Hip Hop theme
3 Vegas Night - Poker anyone?
4 Rockstar - Punk, Acid, Grudge...
5 Summer In December
6 Pyjamma Party
7 Grey's Anatomy - Wahahahaha
8 Prom Night
9 Superheroes - Briefs Over Tights
10 Brokeback Christmas - Where can we rent a mechanical bull?


Hmmmm....

Themes that people will disagree (because they'll win best in natural costume)

1 Fruit Salad - Best In Costume will be Mangga
2 Lord of the Rings - Best in Costume will be Frida (female version of Frodo)
3 Harry Potter - I'll win as Best Harry Potter make-up with my scar
4 Disney Animation - Quasimodo, where are you?!


Anyway....

Will I still be at Intel in December... Too early to tell. Hahahaha!

Blow (2)

Excerpts from Single Guy's blog :)

Why are we so obsessed with measuring the time we have been on this planet? I for one hate celebrating birthdays….it is a rather selfish celebration. You should celebrate the fact that you are alive everyday…not just one day.

When you are young, you cannot wait to get older…to be old enough to drive, to vote, to date or to drink. When you get older, you do not want to look old…you get a kick if you get asked for ID or if someone guesses you are younger than you are…

Age is a mental state really…

Yup, I agree with Single Guy. But I guess every now and then, we must celebrate our birthdays with friends and people close to us. Maybe every 5 years or so :)

Pre Birthday Plans

2 more weeks and i'll be 24... yikes.

chat with jay this morning. telling me to celebrate my birthday. dunno. maybe if someone threw a party for me (hint hint)... harhar!

2 weeks... got to...

1 Lose a couple wounds and inches in my waist/hips. need to go back to the gym. the dumbells that i bought looks like dumb paperweights. 15lbs dumb paper weights

2 Do 1 crazy stuff in my unpublished 50 crazy things to do before i reach 30.

3 Get a new job... in 2 weeks? That's a long shot. hahaha

4 Shop. Hahaha...

I believe... wait... I know that when i turn 24, i'll be able to do whatever i want (or at least do more things). Been chained in the past 23 years. Harhar. No kidding. Wait for the new DJ.

By the way, happy birthday to Pol, Yug and Bryan!